It’s said that it takes 21 days to develop or break a habit and/or pattern. Whenever I feel like any indulgences are out of control, I choose one to single out every couple of months and commit to a 30 day “detoxification”. October is for Facebook. Why abstinence from Facebook? I find myself checking Facebook several times a day. I became aware of my over-fascination with being in the loop, part of the conversations and trending topics, sharing funny moments with friends, and worst of all, anticipating the feedback. I am curious about my relationship with social media and information consumerism.
It only makes sense to me to see what life is like without social media, since there was a time in my life when that did not exist (pre-MySpace, so 2002 and earlier). Think about that. 13 years of social media, which I take for granted. Here is my journal-style blog.
Day 1 (October 1)
It’s one of the first things I do on my walk to work... it sounds sad when I write it out. Since Facebook is deactivated, it doesn’t auto login on my computer either, which makes it easier. There are things I wanted to share today: movie trailer, funny pic, and news that is politically important to me. That feels like a very privileged, first world struggle. I thought about it throughout the day: how can I share these things with people without getting on Facebook?
That right there is a problem!! Can you reflect on this deep narcissism? How self-absorbed does that sound?? How can I… ME… MYSELF… bestow upon my friends and peers such IMMACULATELY CURATED INFORMATION that will surely bring them PLEASURE or ENLIGHTENMENT, even if it’s for a second. It’s rather vile, when you think about it. I was not missing keeping up with what my friends are up to, but longed to share content. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!! I feel like a douche. I would love to talk to a few psychologists to dive deeper into what’s happening here. I’ve always thought of myself as someone who never craves attention. But what I am witnessing right now is a social media avatar of a “selfie”, which in itself is the lowest level in hell.
And, yes, I acknowledge the irony of writing a blog about my Facebook-free adventure, in hopes of finding readership amongst my friends and beyond. Gross, right?
Week 1 (October 8)
It’s surprising to me how well my detox is going. I have been surprisingly productive at work, though I need to find that same upswing at home (Damn you, Hulu and Netflix!) What I do find problematic is how much of my digital world is intertwined with Facebook. Once I deactivated my Facebook account, all my other accounts setup using my Facebook profile information stopped working as well. Spotify, Bands In Town, Messenger, Rotten Tomatoes to name a few.
Takeaway #1: Setup all accounts independently from Facebook, and just link them later on.
Takeaway #2: My urge to share content really disappeared after Day 2 or 3. Maybe I was reading too much into it on my first day? Or just reflecting on my “flaw” made me calm down. Whichever it was, it’s in a good place now.
Takeaway #3: There are somethings I am missing about Facebook. Primarily, being in the loop of up-coming events in NYC. When you live in an awesome city where something is always going on, Facebook is an easy way to keep track of forthcoming events and friend's parties.
Last Day (October 31)
I am nearly cleansed of any need to be on Facebook. I have not thought about logging on in the past couple weeks. It was been a very successful cleanse for me. I logged back on today because it's Halloween (my favorite day of the year), and I wanted to see people's costumes. My first 5 minutes have been rather disappointing, and not because of Halloween, but all the other 'noise'. Have you ever given up soda for a while, and when you have that first sip after some time has passed, it tastes awful and you can feel the high-fructose corn syrup? That is exactly what like jumping back on Facebook has been like. I am not making a comment about my friend's posts, but just commenting about the cultural norm of bitter editorial statuses, over-sharing patterns, negative and aggressive snark, etc. Mind you, I have participated in such manners too. A detox always makes me self-reflect and hyper-aware, pushing me to progress.
Initially, I will lower the frequency of news/political editorial posts, keep critical comments to a minimum, unless it's all in the name of pure humor, and push to share productive and positive messages. I want people to call me out if I really derail. I also challenge my friends and peers on a 2 or 4 week Facebook ban. It's rather refreshing. Most importantly, none of this matters!
I am done here. I have to go post about this.
#blog #journal #Facebook #socialmedia #addiction #digitallife #detox #habits
